How to change your life?

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Lately, many people ask me after reading my about page or posts like Follow Your Heart – “how do you do that?”. Many people around me are very interested in how I manage to live a full and dynamic life, so here it is.

First of all, life is a game, and I believe that we should all find the ways to enjoy it as much as we can. This being said, we all have many things that need to be changed in order to enjoy this game (Changes are the flow of this game called ‘life’). These changes can be major, like ending a relationship or quitting a job (Doing major changes means that you are about to win this game), can be mediocre like finding a new creative habit (you are defintely winning this game), and can be minor – like going out and play with a friend / family member 2day (jackpot).

So, here’s how I find what I want to change, and here’s also how I do it:
(1) Find out what needs a change – This is the most important part. Take a pen and a paper and write down all the pieces of the pie you call ‘my life’. It consists of your habits (“I don’t have enough habits” is also a piece of this pie), ALL your relationships, your job, the place where you live, the things you eat and so on.. YOU HAVE TO SEE IT ALL WRITTEN INFRONT OF YOUR EYES.
(2) Examine – For each piece of this pie, HONESTLY ask yourself if it serves you or not (and why). By ‘serves’ I mean helps you to achieve ALL your dreams (My dream is to live a varied life, so this is a good reason to change things often).
(3) Find what stops you – Now, write what are the reasons that you didn’t change those things so far (“because I’m afraid that…”)
(3.5) Don’t let the fear arise – At this point the voice in your head will start screaming – “You can’t do it!! You don’t have enough money!! You won’t have any friends!! This is stupid!!!” – Give him a cookie or something.
(4) Look beyond your fears – Choose the first thing that needs a change, and change it NOW. As Nike slogan says – JUST DO IT.

* I have a friend who has a job that doesn’t serve him anymore. He doesn’t quit it because he doesn’t know what will happen after he quits. Because he is working most of the time in a job he doesn’t like, he can’t find the time nor the strengths, to fully look for a new direction in his life. Don’t fall down to that trap – the first thing is to assertively CUT all the things that shouldn’t be there. Only than you can find new things to fill up the hole.

No Fear.
LOVE.

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113 comments on “How to change your life?

  1. Healthy A-Z says:

    It’s nice to see some more of your great wisdom! I was just thinking of you last night…and here you are. :-)

  2. Pawandeep Kaur says:

    GREAT POST :D Thumbs UP!!

  3. leelotchka44 says:

    yes. This is a good recipe. It must be, since I have so much resistance in doing it – “it would take YEARS to write down all of those answers”…
    much love
    Leelah

  4. buddhasal says:

    FANTASTIC!!! Keep it up.

  5. mixedupmeme says:

    Those are really good steps to follow.
    I think #1 is the hardest for me because it is making me decide to do something. And that initial decision means I’m going to have to commit some time. It takes time to dig around for a sharpened pencil and a fresh piece of paper.

    Steps 2,3,4 should be really easy. :)

  6. sayohmmm says:

    Thank you for this article, I am actually doing your exercice right now. I love it. I love what makes us stop, and think.

  7. mitchkynock says:

    I love this article. It gave me the incentive to do all I can today and let tomorrow take care of itself.

  8. George Vagabon says:

    Keep up the good work!

  9. nivtaiber says:

    Brilliant, who’s that friend?!

  10. kelihasablog says:

    Great post! Thanks for visiting my blog and hitting “like” so I could find yours… I like it.. :D

  11. gregorykuhn says:

    This is a wonderful post. Thank you. I am in awe of the responses you generate and hope to see such results from my blog too.

  12. asklotta says:

    Love your post, so positive. But what happens if you can clearly see what needs to be changed but yet rendered powerless. I know we all have choices but what if the correct choice ends your dream, should one think up a new dream?

  13. weedimageoftheday says:

    No Fear. LOVE. So right on. Thank you!

  14. You are so wise! Thanks for this great post and for visiting my blog and liking my photo! Keep up the good work:)

  15. Nelle says:

    Very insightful!!! Love it!

  16. Powerful and inspiring stuff, thank you, and…it scares me a bit – I know there’s a lot I need to change…but I’m frightened of the consequences. I know that’s nothing new, nothing special but it’s real…or at least it feels very real. What if my fear doesn’t settle for just a cookie and a pat on the head?

  17. ruleofstupid says:

    Hi Ido, I’ve been missing your posts, but when you ‘liked’ so many of mine today (thank you so much :)) it prompted me to check you again – it turns out my email notifications were off for you – hence I’ve not been getting them. Anywho – fixed that!
    There are so many people who blog “positive messages” but no real way of “doing” the thing they promote. I love your stuff because it so often does what you do here – no empty mantras, just advice that works.
    Peace to you ROS

  18. Thanks for the inspiring post. It’s exactly what I need right now. So glad you stopped by my blog so that I could find out about yours! Funny how life gives us the direction we need just when we need it–if we just quiet ourselves down and pay attention. Look forward to reading your future posts! Cheers!

  19. I just did it. I changed my life in the beginning of this year. I ended my long term relationship and I moved to a new house in the city centre to live on my own. I do want makes me happy and fulfilled. Now I always have a smile on my face. I gave a cookie to my fears and doubts and tjey never bother me again. Thank you for the post!

  20. Kerry says:

    I love the suggestion: “give him a cookie or something.”! HA ha. I came up with the description of my fear and defense mechanisms as a 3 year old Ninja master, Black suit and pony tails, hanging from the ceiling and jumping on me when I least expect it, “for my own protection.”

    I give her a coloring book or a set of blocks to play with to calm her down. And it seems to work!

  21. Patrick says:

    Great blog! Excited to follow!

  22. LydiaJayne says:

    I really liked this short and to-the-point post. Thanks! I’d like to add one thing- stick with it! :D

  23. sandysview says:

    Thanks for liking my film review on my site. I’ve also written two bits about self improvement. I don’t usually promote my own stuff on other blogs and yours is very different to mine. But we are on the same wave length on one thing. In my 100th blog post, creatively called ’100th post. Mind games’. I talk about what you are sort of saying here. Your mind is what holds you back or sets you free. Make the most of what you are dealt I knocked a quote together.
    ” You live in a world you didn’t make Deal with things you cannot change Make the best of what you’re dealt. Life is what YOU make it!”
    I don’t normally do motivational stuff but I can and I have changed a few peoples lives which is nice. I’m more about entertaining and informing. But I’ve made a good life out of a poor beginning. Thanks for stopping by. Keep up the inspiration. Cheers

  24. Daina says:

    really inspiring! thank you! :)

  25. jasonthemessiah says:

    Right on time with the inspiration, only glad that I was able to find you via mutual following. Such a cool blog!

  26. David Emeron says:

    one can, with some discipline, change direction in a radical way, making oneself much much happier, without making complete cuts. An example here would be–and I know this one well–keeping a lucrative job so one can come home and write, without fear of starvation. On the other hand there may be changes made to the above.

    For example a man might say. “I really don’t need this lucrative job in order to write as I please. So I shall look for something simpler, or less time consuming. One needn’t cut and run. One may divest oneself of one’s needless expenses, all the while looking for a midnight job in a toll both at a parking garage–a perfect job for a writer, because he may then write while on the job while performing his scant duties. And while living in simpler fashion, he may then write much more.

    I’ll say I have not always followed this advice. I have sometimes made the big cut. Walked out on a good job, etc. However as I’ve grown much older, I’ve realized that one has much more time than one thinks. It’s not all that difficult to find a better set of circumstances without burning one’s bridges, so to speak. in THAT way, one keeps many more friends which, I must say, are a great joy in life. We can create practically anything we wish on our own, except company, loved ones, friends, etc. These one must earn with capital other than ones work. Hmm. Or perhaps not? IS friendship earned the way business is earned, or the way mondy is earned–real friendship, I mean? Many say no. However looked at more closely an with less prejudice, the answer my be yes.

    • Miya Autumn says:

      True friends are the friends you keep even though you go through major changes in life. That’s what I think. Also, I believe it is normal to sometimes lose contact to some people because either in their or my life something changes. But usually one meets new people when one embarks to new shores.

  27. sheri4l says:

    Love this..most people don’t like change but I do. I happen to think change is a good thing!

  28. I agree with all the people here… Your post is very inspiring and I’ve got really some good view points here… Maybe I need to list down things I need to change in my life and fear is one of them.. I am afraid to get fail…

    Anyway.. thanks for stopping at my blog.. Nice meeting you anyway… :)

  29. That is why I believe in “living without reservations” sounds SOOOO cliche, but it’s our reservations that cause regrets. It’s that fear of moving forward that keeps us chained to our past. This is a great post….I love it! I think so many people are afraid of what they can become!!!!! Don’t be afraid to be great….be afraid of not trying!

    ~lenajeanne

    http://www.livewithoutreservations.wordpress.com

  30. Jes2G says:

    Hi there! Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  31. Diane Tibert says:

    I was freer to make drastic decisions before I had children. Now I feel I have to wait until they are old enough to continue my journey.

  32. I think two of the biggest problems people have are letting their past hold them back and worrying too much about the future. If people took a more zenlike approach to life they would probably find they are much happier. I’ve read some of the works of Zen Master Taisen Deshimaru and it inspired me. That inspiration led me to this conclusion:

    “The past exists within our memories, the future within our dreams. Memories and dreams exist within our minds. Past and future are illusions created by our limited perception of the world around us. Now is all that is real, to forget that and focus on illusion leads only to pain.”

  33. Justine says:

    Thanks for visiting my blog

  34. nextbigname says:

    I’m glad I discovered this blog. I see so much good stuff in here that I’m about to read! Thanks.

  35. caroline1t says:

    This is so good. I have just the friend who needs to hear this right now! Great timing, thanks.

  36. lynnwyvill says:

    Really liked this post. Wonderful advice. I had a job years ago that no longer was a good fit for me. I spent a year examining my life, left the job, and started a new career.

  37. pymette says:

    thanks for this. I constantly need reminding :) ~leanna

  38. Marie says:

    I wrote a post a long while back about “Just Do It!” Mostly about how not to procrastinate. Something I like to do often is write out pros and cons list, especially when trying to make a decision or coming to a fork in the road. That one works best for me.

  39. Excellent post! Great webpage! <3 :)

  40. ~~~S Wave~~~ says:

    Hi Ido. Thanks for stopping by Life As a Wave again. Always love to share your positive energy there. This is another inspirational blogpost here and I want to thank you for sharing it!
    ~~~S Wave~~~

  41. rusty says:

    Hi there! Thanks for dropping by my blog!

    I’ve been trying to switch paths lately and yes it is full of obstacles and voices telling me that I can’t do it, even my parents! Your post reminded me what’s important and to continue to push on! Thank you!

  42. rainbowlikepickle says:

    This is what you call a good inspirational message! :)
    Oh and thanks for checking my blog out as well!

  43. Jitendra says:

    Nice article, greetings by: soniji.wordpress.com & jitendrasoni.blogspot.in

  44. sonnetshaven says:

    I agree with you:) We can either change to be happy or be stuck where we are and be miserable.

  45. camparigirl says:

    I recently left a very secure, very nice job that was nonetheless not fulfilling me anymore to chase something of a dream. Shortly after I left, the pieces started falling into place, pointing to the wisdom of my “crazy” decision. Thanks for your post

  46. Love it!!! Your friend is in the position that I sometimes find myself in until I realize that it doesn’t make sense and that I make the decisions about what I want to do and where I want to be and I’m free to make changes when I feel it’s necessary. The only person that can hold us back is us. Thanks for visiting Classroom Chit Chat :-)

  47. sutil MD says:

    Reblogged this on sutil md and commented:
    change is innevitable.

  48. Sweet Rains says:

    I like your major points, and I am reminded of one way to know where to start. If you think of your life as an old wooden bucket made of slats and held together by metal bands, with some of the slats having been worn or broken off through a lot of use. Think of your strengths and weaknesses. The shorter slats are weaknesses and prevent the bucket from holding its full potential of liquid. But if you raise the shortest one, your bucket will hold more water, so work on that one first.

  49. Wendy Post says:

    So true! Keep up the positivity, because we all need to be reminded of these things often.

  50. dlsnow says:

    First step is usually the most difficult – from there you can go where you want.

  51. sandyraman says:

    How ever I am happy with my Job but still missing my passion as I don’t get time to enjoy the life to the fullest. I like your post. I go for morning walk do some exercise, swimming once in a week, bike-riding, hanging with friend once in month. I won’t fear to accept my fear of what will happen after leaving the JOB. But I just want to know if there is someone who resign from his Job after reading this post.

  52. Ido, thank you for a most inspiring blog… I believe that our thoughts and our beliefs about ourselves and about life, are the ones stopping us from being and feeling the way we want…

  53. Thank you for showing new direction to life.

  54. An@m! says:

    Superb..Thanks for liking my post Ido, so that i came across your blog. Its a pleasure. Keep going. Reading your About Page reminds me of “Vipassana” (one of India’s most ancient techniques of meditation. – http://www.dhamma.org ). There are different paths leading to the same destination. Nice to get connected with you. Be Happy.

  55. [...] How to change your life?. [...]

  56. lottawanner says:

    Many thanks for showing me I’m not alone! :)

  57. Wow x what an amazing blog :)

  58. Good to meet you, Ido. Your dispatches bring to mind these lines:

    “What are you doing, Earth, in heaven?
    Tell me, what are you doing, Silent Earth?”

    Giuseppe Ungaretti

  59. lawrenceez says:

    Thanks for the blog article.

  60. kirsten says:

    Thanks for reading and liking my little blog, it’s great to read yours too – what a transformation! How great life is when we step beyond our fears and find the true essence of ourselves :)
    Namaste! x

  61. skybunnies says:

    Hello sunshine, thanks for dropping by my page and allowing me to discover yours! Keep the inspirational messages coming- god knows I need motivation to survive the next few months of self-inflicted fitness comp training ;)
    Cheers and keep smiling (and stalking), Sky xx

  62. foolishlife says:

    This is great!
    Fear and doubt are a person’s worst enemy.

  63. ninavennor says:

    You’re amazing! I wish you are my friend! You are so inspiring. Thank you! Thanks for visiting my blog as well. More blessings to come! ;)

  64. sarajanelle says:

    Thanks for coming by my page, I’m glad you did because now I’ve seen yours as well! :) Keep up the positivity!

  65. Reblogged this on My Infinite Balance and commented:
    Great post…just have to share it!

  66. Arindam Saha says:

    Hi…
    I have nominated you for “One Lovely Blog Award”.
    Check it out

    http://whenintrovertspeaks.wordpress.com/2012/11/07/hence-nominated/

  67. Marvi Marti says:

    Reblogged this on Marvi Marti and commented:
    I just stumbled on this post today and wanted to share it. I have many things I am already changing in my life, and this just enforces for me the methods to go about making changes. Enjoy this post from over at To Be Aware.

  68. Jacqueline says:

    Thank you for this. I’m just like your friend, afraid to leave a job that hasn’t served me for years.

  69. oh my heavens i love that you used a ghostbusters kit for your photo. you are incredible.

  70. Love this post. I always say fear my worst enemy! Thanks for stopping by my blog:-)

  71. ‘give [the voice in your head] a cookie or something’ – love it! Can I give the voice a slice of my pie that I don’t particularly like? ;) I’m enjoying your blog so much and am going to start following it.

  72. Thanks for checking my blog. I think you can be a good inspiration for me, that’s why I decided to follow you…I stopped by this post cause I’ve been captured by the title. I admit it I said, ‘change my life. sure’. I tried quite few times in my life to write down all my habits and always let the paper unfinished, while thinking to the things I should remove first on the list was and still is the job(s) I’m involved in, but I’ve always been trapped by the fact that you need a job for living otherwise you cannot follow your wishes….So what’s the solution in the middle?

  73. Good work Ido — Quite the positive little following you have here

  74. Nice work Ido — Quite the positive little follow you have here….

  75. mcc4586 says:

    You are awesome, Ido… hands down. This is amazing

  76. smirei says:

    *Don’t let the FEAR arise*.
    Some time ago I was so ambitious. 1 mistake, and fear has become a regular visitor of my soul.
    Perhaps it is the most difficult(at least for women) to stop worry about something and start DOING SOMETHING GREAT. Fear is like a bad habit, – you always need to resist yourself and to keep your mind clean.
    That’s why I encourage everyone: NEVER REGRET AND NEVER BE AFRAID.

  77. Jane says:

    I have stood on the edge of the emotional cliff many times over many years, finally realising that there will always be a safety net in one form or another when I jump has made me brave. Life really is too short to stagnate – I love my wings.

  78. mindo240 says:

    What if your friend needs the money to live and has no idea what he wants to do?

  79. coville123 says:

    Great blog thanks I’m doing this exercise I definitely need some changes glad I found this blog!

  80. oddthoughtz says:

    Awesome post! This is one of those things that people always battle with.. a lot end up living long empty lives because they don’t stop to take stock of things, or even think about their lives objectively. Well put

  81. I really like your blog! I like extremely inspirational posts and I find this one extremely thought-provoking. JUST DO IT! I think people should always just re evaluate their lives and if something desperately needs changing, then to reform their lifestyle. I’ve definitely done this a couple times in my life, and it has changed my life so much. I’m following you now! And thanks for reading my posts, it means alot!

  82. Joy says:

    Love this post – so very pertinent to my life right now.

  83. isguardiola says:

    Life isn’t suppose to be complicated, we just create complication for ourselves. Life is meant to be simple and straight forward, and your post clearly illustrates the steps necessary to keep it that way. I think we spent too much time worrying about what is rather than what can be. I like the idea of changing whatever it is that is keeping you from living life to the fullest and being completely happy.
    Thank you for a great post!

  84. Look beyond your fears! Once I realized how important it is to expose yourself to your fears (and how much it actually dispels them), my whole life changed. Great post

  85. [...] This was an excellent post: How to change your life?. [...]

  86. Simply Me says:

    So many times we know what we would like to do, who we would like to be, but we lack the focus because there is a world full of distractions, we lose sight.

    This post is incredible and inspiring! This is definitely one to put into practice, Thank You for sharing, and for the great advice! :)

    I changed my life in June this year, and I haven’t reaped the full benefit of the change, because I guess I’m still holding on to some of the things that inevitably stop me. Time to cut those things off, and move forward!

  87. carrie price says:

    just reading this post made me feel better …. thank you!

  88. Miya Autumn says:

    What I find most challenging about making changes is that very often I rely on decisions from other people to proceed. Be it another job in a company I’d love to work for, waiting for someone to be ready for more than a friendship and many more. I guess that’s where patience and perceverance are put to the test and most of the doubts come up.

  89. rasajack says:

    Reblogged this on READ MY FINGERS and commented:
    makes perfect sense and it works!!

  90. Well, I have gone through some of your interesting posts here, and let me admit that they provoke thought. For example, the above one has triggered my mind in a different direction. We talk about changing something (like quitting a job) because that does not serve somebody in a desired way. And we also know that many a time its our approach and attitude that needs a change (also described in you What’s bothering you series..?) In that case, quitting a job may not be a solution unless we have ensured that the attitude is rightly changed. Or can we safely say, that our attitude is center of all major happenings in our lives?

  91. [...] 1. The fear that stops you from taking an action – This fear is the fear of quitting your job, finding a new habit because you are afraid that you are not gifted enough, cleaning your house because you “hate it”. Well than, once you already found that the fear is what stopping you from taking an action, though it might be frightening in some cases like quitting your job, you take a very deep breathe and… JUST DO IT. Seriously, once you know that the fear is holding you back, face it. You are going to die someday you know, and you better not be led to your grave by this fear If this is the case, you might wanna take a look in a previous post of mine – How To Change Your Life. [...]

  92. haymitch911 says:

    I love your posts. Keeps me hanging on to my sanity. Thank you. :)

  93. Mina says:

    Thanks for visiting my blog. There are so many things to say about this post. I think what comes to mind that encapsulates it all is a scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005). In the movie, right after Charlie wins the Golden Ticket to be one of five children to visit the very secret Willie Wonka Chocolate Factory, he offers to sell it. His family is very poor and he says that they could use the money and it is more important than visiting the factory. In the film, you can see the instant change in everyone’s countenance. They moved from excitement to sadness and from hope to sorrow. Life is like this. We are given the Golden Ticket, a rare opportunity. It is our decision whether we take the risk and do something exciting and daring that can lead to a life that we can’t even imagine (like Charlie winning the factory) or whether we squander it in the hopes of doing what is “reasonable” (which, by the way, everyone will tell us is the “right” thing because it is predictable in its results). Here is wishing that we will choose to be strong, choose to face our Fear, choose to go where we are unsure of the path, choose to have Faith, and continue to Live the Dream!

    Much love and happy holidays.

  94. visimaone says:

    You are inspiring many people!

  95. Thank you for this insightful article! I’d like to nominate you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Your prolific and diverse writing has earned you this award! Please see my blog for award rules. Congratulations and many Blessings!

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