How To Find The Root Of Anything That Is Bothering You? #3

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Alright so this is the last of post of this series, and in this one I’m going to explain what can be done once the root of the suffering is recognized correctly. (If you still didn’t read #1 & #2 plz do so before reading this post). In the last 2 posts, we’ve learned that the root of anything that bothers us is a fear which arises inside, and although it might seem often that a problem is external to us (“I’m angry because I’ve scheduled a meeting with someone who didn’t show up” – wrong) it is actually internal (“I’m angry because I’m afraid that because he didn’t show up, my business plan won’t come up as planned -> I’ll lose money -> I won’t have anything to eat -> I will die” – right). We’ve also learned how to analyze this tree of fears, till we get to the bottom of it.
And now, the big question is – “I recognized the root fear, what can I do with it?”

OK, So in order to answer this question I would like to create a seperation between 2 types of fears – The one that stops you from taking an action (quitting your job), and the one that triggers an emotional reaction (Anger, worry, low self-esteem).

1. The fear that stops you from taking an action – This fear is the fear of quitting your job, finding a new habit because you are afraid that you are not gifted enough, cleaning your house because you “hate it”. Well than, once you already found that the fear is what stopping you from taking an action, though it might be frightening in some cases like quitting your job, you take a very deep breathe and… JUST DO IT. Seriously, once you know that the fear is holding you back, face it. You are going to die someday you know, and you better not be led to your grave by this fear :-)
If this is the case, you might wanna take a look in a previous post of mine – How To Change Your Life.

2. The fear that triggers an emotional reaction (Anger, worry, low self-esteem) – This is the fear that is hiding behind all of your accusations (“I’m angry because HE/SHE lied to me”, “I hate all the politicians”…), behind your low self-esteem (“I’m ugly”, “I’m not funny/smart/good at anything”), and behind the many years of worry for all kinds of different things (Money, for example).
In this case, once you analyzed the whole tree of fears as discussed in the previous post and got to the root fear, well.. that’s all you can do basically. Thing is, that this is the only thing you need to do. Once you see the whole tree of fears that triggered your emotional reaction, a magical thing happens in your brain – It is starting to untie itself and restructures. The next time you will look in the mirror and feel bad because you think you are ugly, you will immediately know that this is just a fear and feel a little better. The next time, it will happen again, and you will feel a bit better again. After a while, this fear won’t have any hold on you anymore (And so does many other fears that are tied to it inside your brain). You will completely get over it, to the rest of your life. This is a quite a good thing, overcoming your fears, isn’t it? :-)

PEACE.

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How To Find The Root Of Anything That’s Bothering You? #1

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This is the 1st post out of 3 that will help you gain a better understanding of the root of anything that is bothering you in your life. This thing – called fear, has many levels and it shows itself in various ways. A deep understanding of it, will help you find it behind each and every one of its masks and to overcome it.

There are 2 things that need to be understood before we can go any deeper. The 1st thing is the recognition that ANYTHING that bothers you comes from within YOU. Seriously, I mean anything. Let me explain – think of the last time that something made you feel worried. If you would place all the people in the world in the same situation, will they all be worried? Ofcourse not. Different people, with different life experiences and different thoughts, respond differently to the same situation. So did the situation create the problem, or was it the one who perceived it? Was your worry objective or subjective?

Am I saying that you are responsible for the fact that your boss just fired you from work and now you don’t have any money? No. What I’m saying is that this is not what bothers you. What bothers you is the worry that arise as a result. And this worry is just fear wearing a mask. Therefore, the fact that you just got fired can be handled without the fear (worry) that is currently involved and is what causing you suffering. As Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean) said:

Now, the 2nd thing that needs to be discussed and understood, is that in order to recognize (and solve) the things that bother you, you have to make a decision to do so. A decision to start looking at yourself, all the time, and understand that nothing, nothing, is responsible for your suffering but your perception. You don’t agree with me? than you will become a slave for an endless amount of randomly changing external factors for the rest of your life. What do you choose?

All that being said, tomorrow I will explain how to analyze each and every thing that bothers you, find all the different fears that are involved (there are a few in each situation) and finally how to overcome them all.

No Fear,
LOVE.